three

"By your voice we speak

By your strength, we are no longer weak.

And by your wounds we are healed.

Tell me what kind of love is this?

What kind of love, would take your shame

And spill his blood for you

And save us by his wounds"

I'm still your God,

the God who saved you out of Egypt.

I'm the only real God you've ever known.

I'm the one and only God who delivers.

I took care of you during the wilderness hard times,

those years when you had nothing.

I took care of you, took care of all your needs,

gave you everything you needed.

You were spoiled. You thought you didn't need me.

You forgot me.

Hosea 13:4-6

It is a horrible accusation, oh God, but it is true. I did forget You for a while. Though I claimed to be your child, I did not give one thought to your ways and what You wanted for me. I did what I wanted and I alone. And I see now where that path leads. I want to follow your plans, Lord. I know that yours are much better than mine. I will follow in your path and receive your promises. It's true-- you are the only real God I have ever known. You are the only one who has always been true and right, though I did not always see it. You are eternal and faithful, Lord. I admit my shortcomings and I ask that you lead me from now on. You paid the price for me and I give myself over freely. Your love is so grand, so vast, so extravagant. It is so intricate, I cannot see each thread, nor can I see the big picture. But You know all, Jesus. Thank you for being mine and letting me be Yours. Take me as your own. You are my God, You are my Lord.

two

"And now my life's song sings,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Let my life's song sing to You"

How can I give you up...

How can I hand you over...

My heart is changed within me

All my compassion is aroused...

For I am God, and not man--

The Holy One among you

Hosea 11:8-9

Daddy, Abba, Father, Dad. Lord Most High. How I long to see you as Daddy again. If I did all the time, I would know how desperate you are to take care of me, to have me do good, and love you the way I should. But most of all, I would know how deep your love is for me. It is deeper than I could imagine, and ever present, even when I am in the midst of things you despise. Forgive me, God, for my shortcomings. Forgive me, but more importantly help me to move on, to the things you hold for me. I will give you my things if you will give me yours. I know I am scared of being empty-handed, but I will trust in you. Take me home, Daddy. Let me live in your home and know that it is my home too. This prodigal child is coming home.

one

“You are stronger, You are stronger

Sin is broken, You have saved me.

It is written, Christ is risen.

Jesus, You are Lord of ALL”

“Come let us return to the Lord, He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; He has injured us, but He will bind up our wounds… Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him.”

Hosea 6:1,3

Oh God, I hear you. I hear your words speaking to me through the Word that you led me to. And though I don’t know exactly what your words mean yet, to know that you are speaking to me is enough for now. I have been far off, lost and confused for so so long. It is such a relief to know you really are there still and are still concerned with me and my silly problems. I will return to you, Lord, and I know that you will work all things to my good, so long as I put you first. And the same will go for my relationship with Jeff, as long as we put you first. I know it will be difficult. I am not expecting to be perfect. But this time when I mess up, I will not give up and run away. You already see my shame, what is the point in running? You are here with me always, which can be so good and so frightening at the same time. Lord, I love you. Thank you for running this race with me, and each step you give to me. It is an uphill run, but it is worth the pain and worth the price. I will run to you, God. I am yours. You are Lord of all.